Friendships – Forever or Nah
As college is fading into the distant and we are getting older the first question is who will stay in touch? Who will be there when I decide to get married and have children? I personally think this is the stickiest of situations there are. Friends, I feel like are more important than relationships, friendships make you who you are for better or for worse and when the break ups happen they are beyond difficult. Friendships truly depend on where you are in your life and if that person can go through all the struggles with you and try to make you a better person and will love you through it all. The one thing I have stuck by is that I don’t think people change I think they only become more of whom they really are. With the confusion from everything else around us as it is the last thing we need is our friends taking part in it too. From my own personal experiences I have lost a lot of friends throughout the first few years of being in my 20s, not all of them I necessarily wanted but I found out wasn’t healthy to begin with. If you look at your friendship and you were to stop texting them for a week maybe even a month and received nothing, maybe your friendship isn’t mutual and no one deserves to be in a one way friendship or relationship. These are the people we are going to grow old with and know about all your dirty hook ups and stupid mistakes so we have to choose these people wisely.
The scariest thing I think we have to start looking for is do our friends match our values? This is something that all our parents have been annoyingly telling us since we were 7, “Birds of a feather flock together”. The problem with this is, our parents were right. Your friends shouldn’t agree with you on everything if anything they should call you out on your mistakes but help you fix them. If the decisions your friends are making are ones that truly bother you and you’ve expressed your emotions about it and nothing changes is the arguing and difference in thought really worth the friendship? And maybe it is, but I know these are things my friends and me have truly discussed. Above all I think if the friendships are ones we need to let go of the best way to handle the situation is with grace, wish those people the best and move on. Let them be the ones ranting on social media about what a scathing bitch you are because in the end I promise that’s there forever and one day they will have a 20 something year old who they had wished they could tell them they handled the situation differently.