Space, give it to yourself.

It’s been awhile since I’ve wrote and I apologize for that. In my blog today I would like to talk about stepping away from life even when its not easy. The first step to understanding this is knowing when you have too much on your plate and being able to know when to take a step back.

Breathe, you can do it. 

For me, personally I have anxiety and when things become too much I start to breathe very heavily and my stress hits the fan. Breathing techniques is something that has actually helped me but also been a radar for when its all getting to be too much. So as teachers, colleagues and parents have all told us just breathe and give breathing techniques a try.

Time 

Giving yourself some time to go off the grid and reevaluate your goals is something that always helps me. Taking time for yourself is something we need that we tend to forget about the most. Even if it is sitting for five minutes a day doing nothing but being by yourself the peace and quiet is something everyone needs to keep themselves sane.

As your parents have said, join a hobby 

Many of us when we were young our parents made us try things that we were annoyed with or were irritated with but in the end more than likely you ended up liking it or just learning from it. That thing that you have been putting off, that weird thing you want to try, do it. There is no better time than today to go sign up for something that you don’t know could change your life or less dramatic, your perspective.

Religion or whatever your heart desires 

Every person has some difference of beliefs nowadays and although it is pretty cliche, I find prayer really soothing. Whether it be God, Allah, or SpongeBob talk to them, make a home inside the world you live in and a space of mind where you can find a way to calm yourself even when its hectic.

These are just some things I personally do when it comes to taking time for myself. You are the most important thing about your world and your health and happiness is the most important so make yourself happy and work on you even if its not convienent for everyone else. In your early 20’s it can be extremely difficult to find time in between work, social life, and alcohol but make that time so you can keep your mind healthy as can be!

Until next time,

A

Springing back into Drinking Season

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As we all know with the weather getting nicer the beer just gets colder. Although we are getting older, we aren’t dead and day drinking is a sport. I know for me day drinking is my biggest enemy and my hardest marathon. There are a couple rules I have come to live by whether it is St.Patricks Day or that first spring concert these are my go to tips.

 

For Carbohydrates Sake

 

Eat the carbs. As much as you work hard all week to eat healthy and keep your bikini bod in tact try your best to eat some carbs before a long day of binge drinking. If I have something coming up and I am still trying to keep my diet going a burrito bowl or avocado toast are my go to’s.

 

Stay Hydrated

 

It is the one thing that is closest to your mom telling you, you need to put on a coat. It is so cliché and annoying but really, drink water. The day of your binge drinking or the night before try to at least down a liter of water and while you are drinking during the day have one of your friends remind you to drink water in between every few drinks and I promise it’ll make all the difference in the world.

 

Heel, No

 

The best decision I’ve made since I turned 21 was on day drinking festivities d o n o t w e a r h e e l s. If it is a family event like a birthday party, by all means wear your cutest new wedges from Nordstrom but otherwise if you are really day drinking how are you supposed to play dizzy bat with those things on? There could be lots of spillage coming your way and the last thing you need is to be worried about tripping on your own feet.

 

 

Save Yourself

 

The next day is what we are all fearing in circumstances such as these. In times, I have thanked myself the most is when I decided to prepare. Get yourself some good food for the next day, have the Aleve and Gatorade ready next to your bed just to prepare your body for the next day. **Life Hack- Coconut water will take away a hangover within 45 minutes I HIGHLY recommend.

 

The Essentials

 

Lastly, remember to have fun and to make memories. Remember your phone charger, cameras and tough cases so you are prepared. Since there will be so much drinking going on, add your friends on friends on your Iphone (if you have one) just in case someone gets lost. A safe pouch for your ID and Credit Cards is also a spill proof idea that you wont regret.

 

The most important thing is to have fun and be safe! Happy Spring Everyone

A Girl walks into a bar ..

 

In your 20’s you are supposed to simmer down after you’ve had a solid four years maybe even five of binge drinking and now that you’ve moved home you should go to the “adult” bars. Well, where I am from there is a mixture of adult bars and “younger” bars all around the same areas. I personally think that the stigma of what you are supposed to do after college has changed, considering we are all supposed to have five years of experience when we have been in school for four, so most of us have the glorified assistant positions and need more alcohol than we ever did as college students because we are now dealing with Godzilla, the boss. Phew! But it’s the truth, I think the bar scene is more difficult to decipher when the right time to slow down is as it’s ever been. Everything is fine in proportion in my opinion and everyone needs a night on the town even when you’re 40 but it all depends on the person. It’s completely normal to get real job money and want to go blow it on Vegas bombs with your friends, in moderation. As I am getting older I am realizing that more than likely you aren’t going there to meet a guy or a girl you are probably going with your friends to a bar to just get a different vibe and change of scenery than each other houses for once, (even though we save money that way). Or maybe even a night on the town with your girl or guy friends that make it seem like something different to do, I am guilty of these FYI. Then there are the group of people who want to try all the swanky and cool bars in their towns, which ok awesome but not so cool when a drink is $20 bucks and as we’ve stated are still probably living pay check to pay check. One time a couple friends and I tried the cool bar downtown which is in the same area as the “younger” bars, surprise surprise. Anyways we get there and the music is awesome but to be quite honest it was jammed packed with people in their 20’s wearing too much cologne and buying drinks they couldn’t afford. We finally make our way towards the back table in the corner and two of us got our overly priced drinks on the way in and it took our two other friends 20 minutes to get just one. The drinks were good, but it’s hard to mess up a vodka tonic. We sat there for awhile and realized it was just us talking we weren’t really reaching out to anyone else who was around us. By the end of the night we ended up at the bar with tons of tv’s and half the price, dancing the night away. There are bars that I think start becoming off limits as we get older because our end goal isn’t to get blacked out because we truly can’t handle those anymore unless someone is bringing an IV to my house in the morning alongside of chocolate chip pancakes. I think as long as you are in good company it truly doesn’t matter where you go, and if people want to judge you let them because at the end of the day alcohol doesn’t discriminate. But with the stresses of getting older with new jobs, new friends and new lives its perfectly normal to still go out. When things start becoming blacking out at the end of the weekend every weekend and feel a lot like college game days round 2, then maybe start asking yourself the questions of what am I doing. Until then, do as your grandparents have told you and live while you’re young all in good moderation and with good company.

Be Someone’s Hero

Today I am making a post regarding something a little more difficult and not so happy. As we get older we get to have the times of our lives but also have to start dealing with the difficult parts of it as well. Over the past year our community has dealt with a lot of death and no matter what the age I have realized it is never going to get easier.

The amount of suicides that I have personally seen I feel as if it just increases every second. Its such a scary thought that someone with so much life to live can have it taken from them at any moment. I have family and have personally dealt with anxiety since I can remember and I know how difficult it can be to be your own worst enemy. In our society today it is becoming more and more common to sit down and talk to someone about your problems but its still not completely understood. Mental illness is a real thing and should be taken just as seriously as any other disorder, deficiency, or illness. As time goes on we deal with more and more of the criticism of how to look, how to be, how to act but know that those people aren’t you and don’t know who you were born to be. Every single soul matters, as hard as it is to get away from remember that your past is not your future and you are here for a reason. If there is anything us young adults can do I think it is to support each other, lift each other up and help those whom we may not even know. Every single person at our age has gone through difficult times some more than others but they all count and instead of breaking each other down we should try the best we can to bring each other up. Making fun of someone bringing someone down does not make you any better of a person it actually makes you a lesser person than the one you are pointing at. Not a single one of us knows what happened to the person we pass on the highway when they were 12 years old or maybe that that girl riding her bike by your apartment lost her mom to cancer the week before or that the quiet guy at the coffee shop was bullied his entire childhood. We all are going through shit, and we all have to be each other’s heroes. If someone is having a bad day, make it better if someone is crying, dry his or her tears. Be that person you want to help your future children when you’re not around. We have the power to change the future generations and prove that we matter, we all matter you matter and don’t ever forget it.

If you know someone who is contemplating suicide or you yourself are please contact 1-800-273-8255.

Making your house a home, the beauty is in the attempt

As we get older and move out of our college dorms and into new apartments or homes making it a place of sanctuary and comfort can be difficult when mom isn’t there to make you a home cooked meal anymore. The biggest transition I’ve learned is learning that no one is going to do those dishes for you, no one is going to fix that toilet or no one is going to pay your bills, but you. It has taken lots of getting used to as a twenty something woman living on her own. I think the first place to start is decorating your house in the cheapest, chicest, and homey way possible.

I first and foremost put pictures in my house, it made me feel as though even though everyone is no longer here I have a part of them with me. I invested in a Fuji Film Polaroid in the past six months and it has truly made a life change. I now can have all those pictures on my fridge and it only takes a few seconds for them to develop. Another thing I have done to help my home is decorate it, how I want. Every year I use the same type of themes for the seasons but I make a vow to myself that I will keep enough money in my bank account to get a few new items each season to spice things up and keep them updated. Sometimes there are times where I have to get rid of a few things because they are out of style but the things that bring tradition around I always keep because it helps me feel at home. Another thing that has helped me is cooking as much as I can in my house. Cooking is something that makes you feel confident and excited for the end result the more you do it because the first few burnt chickens can make you lose hope. But don’t give up, there is so much fun you can have in the kitchen this is also where all your own traditions can begin. I try to incorporate some of the things that I grew up with in my schedule just to give me that feeling of home again. On Saturdays my mom used to always play Shania Twain and old country while she made breakfast so I try to do that a couple times a month and dance around the kitchen simply because I can.

The last things I find probably the most helpful is have people over and hosting parties. Show off the home that you have made for yourself and be proud of what you are doing whether it’s a shack on the side of the road or an awesome apartment in a downtown district, be proud of where you are making a name for yourself. We are all in the same boat and are just at the beginning of whom we are going to be so let your friends join in the madness with you! Themed parties are a great way to have that excuse, or maybe just a Saturday night. Between your new jobs and new lives everybody needs an excuse for a glass of wine. When throwing get togethers the thing to steer away from is the massive parties we used to have in college with random people, try to keep your parties to a minimum amount of people who you know will respect your belongings and your home. But make your themes as easy and affordable as possible so everyone can join in! I offer to throw birthdays and get togethers when no one else wants to because as long as you organize the cleanup before it gets out of hand then its not so bad! The best way to avoid it getting out of hand is by placing one trash can in its normal spot, another one by the gathering area where everyone drinks and plays games and one by the door, trust me its worth the twenty dollars! Growing up my group of friends always had a couple homes that we were always welcome to whatever the occasion and they became second homes to us, I absolutely loved that feeling and that’s what I want people to feel in my house, home. These are your homes and your lives make it as awesome as you want and as close to home as you can!

Traveling on a piggy bank budget

As long as we all can remember we have been told that travelling is the only thing you can buy that will make you richer and as shocking as it is, its true. The beautiful thing about this generation is that we are in full support of not rushing into marriages and to be a little bit selfish. Travelling not only can help you learn more about others but I think that it mostly helps you find yourself regardless of whom you are travelling with. But how can you do this when you are in a new job that is paying you crackers and cheap coffee while budgeting your drinking habits?

 

Balling on a budget is the best thing us young people can learn to do and luckily for us there are so many ways to make this happen nowadays. Between Pinterest and Travelocity making your dream vacations come true is totally possible with some preparation. The best thing I’ve personally learned is to plan in advance, the farther out you can book your rooms the cheaper you can get your flights. The other thing I’ve learned to be helpful is find out what really matters, would you rather have a comfy flight or spend the money on a hiking adventure? Also, ask yourself how much time will you spend your time in the room because this is a place where you can save a lot of money if you’re willing to have a simple room instead of an elaborate one. Lastly budgeting how much you are going to spend on food and alcohol because at the time it will seem like 10 dollars here and 5 dollars here by the end of the trip you will be 400 dollars in the hole due to just those two items. A good way to help this is to stop by a discount liquor store on your way to your hotel once you are in the city and get bigger amounts of alcohol to share with your group of people and pregame before dinners or outings that way you aren’t spending 50 dollars a drink at the bars. For food buying snacks is always helpful because then you wont need to buy as many meals while you are out and will help you be able to control how much you eat on the trip as well.

 

The other thing you can do when planning a big vacation is look for sales by subscribing to websites that may have sales on activities or explorations you are interested in as well as looking into Groupon. I personally also look into things for the next season or even summer when its winter because things are so much cheaper. The last thing that has saved many possible-boring moments was looking up cool ideas on pinterest and what to do in certain places as well as cool picture ideas so you can remember these moments forever! Remember vacations can only be adventures if you make it one!

Friendships – Forever or Nah

Friendships – Forever or Nah

As college is fading into the distant and we are getting older the first question is who will stay in touch? Who will be there when I decide to get married and have children? I personally think this is the stickiest of situations there are. Friends, I feel like are more important than relationships, friendships make you who you are for better or for worse and when the break ups happen they are beyond difficult. Friendships truly depend on where you are in your life and if that person can go through all the struggles with you and try to make you a better person and will love you through it all. The one thing I have stuck by is that I don’t think people change I think they only become more of whom they really are. With the confusion from everything else around us as it is the last thing we need is our friends taking part in it too. From my own personal experiences I have lost a lot of friends throughout the first few years of being in my 20s, not all of them I necessarily wanted but I found out wasn’t healthy to begin with. If you look at your friendship and you were to stop texting them for a week maybe even a month and received nothing, maybe your friendship isn’t mutual and no one deserves to be in a one way friendship or relationship. These are the people we are going to grow old with and know about all your dirty hook ups and stupid mistakes so we have to choose these people wisely.

The scariest thing I think we have to start looking for is do our friends match our values? This is something that all our parents have been annoyingly telling us since we were 7, “Birds of a feather flock together”. The problem with this is, our parents were right. Your friends shouldn’t agree with you on everything if anything they should call you out on your mistakes but help you fix them. If the decisions your friends are making are ones that truly bother you and you’ve expressed your emotions about it and nothing changes is the arguing and difference in thought really worth the friendship? And maybe it is, but I know these are things my friends and me have truly discussed. Above all I think if the friendships are ones we need to let go of the best way to handle the situation is with grace, wish those people the best and move on. Let them be the ones ranting on social media about what a scathing bitch you are because in the end I promise that’s there forever and one day they will have a 20 something year old who they had wished they could tell them they handled the situation differently.